So... if you ask me... which you didn't, but really, if you're reading this then you kind of did, because what is easier than clicking out of a blog and opening some other site filled with wonders. My wonders are here. Because. Enjoy them or click away! If you find something interesting, I hope you'll let me know because I'm interested!
I like/love the movie "Groundhog Day." I know, it's random, but I just thought of it and felt like sharing. We do watch it on Groundhog Day every year, or very soon before or after it, and every time I watch it I enjoy it just a little more because I know what's coming and it delights me!
I've been feeling sad lately, and isn't it usually sad feelings that make a person look inward? I'm sad about some friends with real challenges in their lives, illness mostly, and serious ones. It's pressing in on me, even though I belong to a religion that believes that adversity is a necessary refiner of our spirit and character. It's one thing to understand that adversity is a good thing, and another thing to feel that way when it comes, am I right?
So. Some adversity. Three people, to be exact, and they each represent different stages of life and different types of problems. One, an 80-year-old great grandmother who has battled cancer for years to have recently been sent home from what appears to be her last trip there, to die. She's not expected to last the week. Her life was full, though not without challenges and I wonder if she has too much time now at the end to ponder her choices and what kind of hell that might be. She's a good woman, and she's lived a good life, but we would all do some things different, if you ask me...
The second, a young father, 29 years old. He's established himself at Church and in business as a hard working leader who will do what it takes to accomplish his goals. I mostly know him at Church of course, and he is a tireless servant of the Lord. Tireless. Or he has been, at least. He is suffering from a debilitating muscular degeneration that doctors haven't been able to diagnose, but his decline has been rapid. A few months ago he was a healthy, normal guy with allergies and a tendency toward weakness and some other mostly mild symptoms that were thought to be rheumatoid arthritis. (Who knew I could spell that?) Suddenly, he wasn't at church one week (unusual for him) and the following week he was bent over, tilted sideways and walking slowly, crookedly, with a cane. Two weeks passed, he began to use a walker. Fast forward another two weeks, he had a wheelchair. Another two weeks and now he's been hospitalized for over a week because of respiratory failure probably related to his muscular degeneration. He understands adversity more than most people do and spoke about it eloquently one day at church. The next day he came and talked with my 14-15 year-old students about it. I'll say more about this because it was huge to me, and to them. I don't know if he will come home from the hospital. Just a few short weeks and before the geneticists at the University Medical Center will ever have a chance to analyze his DNA to find out what has happened to him, he may be gone. He will be leaving a young, sweet wife that he's known since they were both 8 years old and two little boys, both younger than that. It's hard to watch. And sad.
Last night I learned that a friend of my son's - 15 years old - had a tumor removed last week. They don't even know what kind of cancer it is yet. I literally know nothing else about the situation, but that seems to be enough. Hopefully they will be able to treat him successfully; I know there is more success with treating cancer these days. But it's so very young to know of your own physical frailty and the tenuous hold you really have on your own existence. I fear for him. I identify with him, because of my son, of course. What if, right? And my goodness, every day that could happen - does happen - to people all around us, and sometimes to us. Life-changing things. Big things that won't go away.
There are other sad things - when aren't there? - but there are happy things too. My youngest son who is indifferent about school and, though smart, unmotivated and unconcerned, sang in a solo ensemble choir concert last week; his first. He was good - really good. I was proud of him and know without a shadow of a doubt that I could never (EVER!) have done it myself. He sang good, he sang loud, you could understand him and he was on key all the way through it. He had the very first spot - first! - and he looked quite comfortable, though he's only been in the choir class just 2 weeks. I was proud of him and I hope it helps him care a little, and distinguish himself from other kids. That seems to be important to just about everyone, especially at that age, if you ask me...
I use ellipses a lot. Too much, probably. Sorry. They seem so helpful. They add the questioning glance, the raised eyebrow, the cocked head, the poignant pause.
One thing I love about "Groundhog Day" is that when Bill Murray's character finally "gets it" that he's just wasting his time on his consuming self-interest and begins to focus outward, he gets very calm and seems to trust that things will work out fine as long as he is fine, and if they don't, then he'll work them out because he's a smart and capable guy with good motivations. Okay, I do see that I'm reading way too much into that, but hey, you asked me... Didn't you?
I crack myself up. How about you?
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